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Pennsylvania, United States
What changes hath time wrought...mostly a different hair-color, a few wrinkles and loss of short-term memory.

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Need for Name-Calling

You "protoplasmal primordial atomic globule."

What a fantastic insult, except, that it's truly descriptive of what we are. Does everyone call someone a name at some time or other? I frequently mutter "idiot" under my breath in reference to (not "reverence to") my husband. It's hard to tell sometimes if he's serious and I flat out told him the other day after an attempt to jest- a WEAK attempt, "You may be joking, but my first instinct is to think, 'what an idiot,' and that's what stays with me."

Certain words I just don't like to hear or hear other people called. Faggot is a word I despise. I'm not sure an opera singer could make that word sound pleasant. I'm still offended by the 7 words you can't say on TV- well, most of them any way. Bad words to my kids are words like: dumb, stupid, jerk. I'll never forget Sarah coming home from school in 1st grade and whispering to me that someone said a bad word. I was mildly concerned because any secret divulging stance is sure to draw Jacob closer. I almost laughed with relief when Sarah breathed the word in my ear: stupid. I've volunteered in Sarah's school and I've heard a lot worse; usually from a special needs child being towed down the hall. Nonetheless I believe there is some instinctual need to call another person an unflattering name. From a young age kids pick up on this name-calling they hear others using.

On an hours-long trip to Ocean City Sarah and Jacob began to call each other moe-ron (moron). Tim asked the kids where they'd heard that word and before the kids could answer I said, "Probably because you've called a dozen other drivers just that name!" Now, honestly, Tim and I like this word. Especially if we say it MOE- ron instead or MORE- on. We like to refer to our heinies as our BOO- tocks. Not sure why, exactly. The kids use this, too, and no one knows what they are talking about.

Now that I've introduced "butts" into this posting let me just say that my kids absolutely delight in calling each other something with the word butt in it. Buttface, butthead, buttcheeks, stinkybutt, bigbutt, goatbutt, any way of including "butt" in a compound word/sentence is very satisfying to them. In an effort to curb this tendency I introduced a list of names that would be acceptable for them to call each other:

nitwit
knucklehead
nincompoop
barnacle
dimwit

dingleberry

dingaling

The first two words are complements of two students I had, Megan and Dennis, (brother and sister) who would call each other those names. It amused me greatly.

We added the following word since the kids liked the PBS show Cyberchase so much.
duncebucket

For me the beauty in name calling is coming up with something so preposterous it's more humorous than insulting , you "protoplasmal primordial atomic globule."


Hormonally yours,
Peg

"...protoplasmal primordial atomic globule..." Gilbert and Sullivan The Mikado

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