A few months back I saw the most hilarious article in my hometown newspaper. (See clip above. If you click on it it's big enough to easily read.) Even rereading it today makes me laugh. He wasn't trying to resuscitate a fresh possum, but a 'long-dead opussum.' Oh, how I wish I could have seen this. This was a local (western PA) story. I wasn't terribly surprised by this story, just highly amused. Today's paper featured a story about a Wisconsin man shooting his TV. This is in The Derrick today- page 16. Maybe you can read it at http://www.thederrick.com/ The headline reads, Wisonsin man accused of shooting TV over Palin dance number (That is one long headline.)
Steven Cowan, 67, came home from a bar, had a beer with dinner then sat down with his wife to watch "Dancing with the Stars." ( A reality show meant to get your inner fire roaring.) When Bristol Palin began her routine the man, " jumped up and began swearing..." He left the room and "reappeared 20 minutes later with his shotgun, 'raging with his face bright red, and blasted the TV.'" I don't know exactly why I find this so funny. I suspect its the use of the word "blasted." But he then tells his wife to go "fetch" his pistols. Good Lord, what's he going to do with the pistols??? I imagine an old cabinet TV with a big, jagged, black hole where the picture screen once was. Is he going to use a pistol on the big ceramic rooster clock atop the TV? [The following is verbatim from the article.] According to the criminal complaint, Steven Cowan's daughter recently took away his handguns for safekeeping. It did not elaborate. " He scared the bejebees out of me," she told detectives. ---I'm pretty sure it's the daughter's "bejebees" word choice that's funny. I don't think I've ever seen that word in The Derrick.
The wife told officers that about 15 years ago her husband had threatened her with a machete when he couldn't find some ammunition and threatened to shoot one of their cows. ---Now, was he looking for ammunition to shoot one of the cows or was he just so mad he was going to "blast" a cow because of the missing ammunition? I just snorted as I wrote that. Obviously this man has some mental health issues and possibly the wife does, too, if she offered this story with no "I should have left him then" comment.
The Possum CPR story is still funnier, hands down. but this one has some chuckle charm.
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